Well, now I talk about myself.

As I say I’m transitioning as a MtF transsexual, and I’ve been on hormones since mid August 2010.  I got tired of waiting for something to happen that will allow me to be who I am.  So I started the transitioning, and just recently (mid October 2011) I finally came out to everyone and started the process to change my name legally.

See, my mother and my family are all against me being anything but the boy I was assigned at birth.  However, like others, I have come to the conclusion that I am a lesbian trapped in a male body.  The comedian’s jokes hit me like a wiffle bat between the eyes.

I have never felt comfortable in my body.  I always wanted something else.  But I was told that I was a boy and that I had to act like it.  I’ll spare you the details, I’ll just say that I learned to counterfeit being a boy really well.  Even joined the Army so I could purge it totally, but that didn’t work.  Now, before I die, I want to be who I am.  I guess better late than never.

When I’m not working, and I haven’t in something like 4 years, I write.  I have several stories I work on, and almost all of them are involving TG elements.  Some involve BDSM.  Because that’s part of me too.  They are located at Big Closet  http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/, which is under the author of Maid Joy http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/maid-joy.

I am into BDSM pretty heavily.  I am a switch and I do plan on continuing as a bottom and a top in various aspects when my transition is complete.  I have a lot of friends in those communities, and I’ve even contributed to an anthology on BDSM and Magick.  I have a Slave Registration Number, 936-658-013 and you can see the details there.  It does NOT mean that I have to bow down and do anything to you, simply because you are a dominant.  My owner has not told me to service you, so you can stick your orders in your ear.

That’s something else, I’m pagan.  Specifically a Druid/Witch.  I practice magick and have for some time (no jokes about getting it right, please, that’s old…).  I work on the Astral plane a lot and I have a lot of friends and allies there too.  I know Dragons personally, so don’t come at me with a lot of “oh, I’m such a dragonkin” unless you really are, and I can tell.  I lose respect for posers really freaking fast.

I have very eclectic tastes.  I like Victorian/Edwardian fashion, including corsets.  If I had my way, I’d have several outfits from the lower upper class, upper middle class and I would wear them most of the time.  I like a lot of the fashions from the time period of the Revolutionary War (colonial and French/English), I like lolia including EGL.  I like high heels.  I love girly stuff.  Pink, lavender, yellow, all those colors just set my heart aflutter.   I love leather clothes, and I think that nylon/spandex/lycra and other such materials are heavenly feeling.  I have a uniform fetish.

I’m also a geek.  I do IT support for a Fortune 500 company currently in corporate life, and I love computers.  Imagine me, crawling under a desk to work on a computer in a dark blue walking suit with corset and pantaloons as well as three petticoats.  That would be heaven to me.

I’m into oriental things.  I have a very soft spot for Japan and most things Japanese.  I like a lot of things labeled Asian, and I try to pay respect to those things.  I try to avoid cultural appropriation, so I add what I feel I want into my life, but I don’t get obnoxious about it, nor do I get on to people about that either.  Live and let live.

No pictures.  Sorry.  I don’t look good enough yet.  Correction, my pictures are at http://wide-worlds-joy.tumblr.com/GPOY

I like a lot of different types of music.  Nickleback, O-Town, Maggie Sandstone, Billy Joel, The Eagles, J-pop and K-pop (especially the Wonder Girls), ‘N-Sync, and more.  I like Celtic music, Classical, Flute and acoustic guitar.  Drums make me want to cum, so I like Blue Man Group and Taiko drums. 

I’m not a huge fangirl of anything, but Firefly, The West Wing, many movies and some obscure things (like The Secretary) are part of my everyday conversation.  I love pun wars.  I enjoy sparring with wits and with words.  I try not to do the typical southern family thing of stab you in the face and then say I was joking when you bleed.

I have a wife and a daughter.  I am an ex-smoker.  I have Dysthimia.  I contemplate suicide a lot.  I drink very little, but I love Mead and Vodka.  I am a borderline alcoholic.  I live in government housing and am on food stamps.  I can make $100 last two weeks for a family of 3.

I am a democrat and a liberal.  I am a Veteran and am Ex-Army.  I have a step son in the Army in Iraq right now.  I have three younger sisters, only one of which knows I’m T.  I’m not obnoxious on the privilege things.  I have two websites.

I can’t stand bullies.  That’s why I changed my URL from wide-worlds-joy to im-a-slut-and-i-know-it because someone threatened some friends of mine and used that URL to try to bully them.  Listen to me.  Growing up is hard enough with everything that you have to deal with.  Having some drive-by anon say “go kill yourself” can push someone who is on the edge of doing just that over.  How would you like to KNOW that you caused the death of someone you don’t even know?  Would that haunt you for a while?  I hope so.

I flirt, and I find a lot of girls attractive.  I am still attracted to females, I just understand that since I’m old enough to be their mothers (literally) that it seems creepy.  So while I flirt, it’s NOT serious.  Unless you get serious, then it can get raunchy.

I believe that everyone needs a few things:  1) a cuddle buddy, 2) a friend, 3) a home, 4) food, and 5) plenty of sex.  Those are necessities of life, and it’s wonderful when you can put 1, 2 and 5 together in one person.  But if I can be an ear for you to bend when you feel bad, then that’s good. 

I reblog fasion, shoes, clothing I want to wear, people that I find attractive and who I consider friends, and my thoughts about transitioning from Male to Female.  If you have a problem with any of those, you may wish to just go on.

And anon insults don’t bother me at all.  I’m too old for that shit to give me any sleepless nights.  So do your worst, I’m sure I can do better.

I know that I have several people who come here and look at my blog to see what kind of blog it is.

Well, categorizing it is not an easy thing to do. 

It’s not a fashion blog.  I reblog a lot of fashion stuff, a lot of shoes, a lot of swimsuits and more.  All these things that are reblogged from others (and in some FEW cases, posted by me) are things that I either really like, think are cute as hell, or want to wear in one form or another.  Yes, even the bikinis. 

I sometimes reblog sports things, especially from spandexandsportsbras.  She has a lot of interesting things, and women in sports that I love watching, just for the pure athleticism of the ladies.  I DO like sports, just not the sports that many people think of as being sports.  Things like Sumo, Full Contact Karate, Cheerleading, Acrobatics and Tumbling, Beach Volleyball.  If I were like 25 years younger I might even work my ass off to join them.

I reblog shoes.  High heels specifically.  I love heels, and at 6 feet tall, it’s a real pain to wear them.  I have to limit myself to two inch heels, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love looking at the various shoe styles and heights and so on.  All the ones that I post here, reblog here or like I love and would really like to own.

I post activism stuff.  I’m transgendered, Male to Female.  I’m 43 and tired of waiting for my happiness to come to me like many other places have promised.  So I am finally FINALLY becomming the woman I have always been, and whom I have learned to cover up with the facade of a boy.  Yes, I have a daughter that half my genetic code made, and yes, I’m married to a wonderful woman who is supportive and fully on board with my transition.  Hate me or not, your choice.

I am a Pagan.  Specifically, I’m a Witch, a Druid, and a Seax-Wican.  The witchcraft is how I relate to the Spirit world, and how I work with dragons and spirits out there in the aethers.  The Duidism is how I relate to the world around me, the physicality that is this plane of existance.  The Seax-Wica is how I relate to my chosen Deities.  I see no conflict between any of these, and I am not a misguided christian or someone who doesn’t know the truth.  I’ve been exposed to the truth.  I’ve rejected it as irrelevant to me.  I tried being Baptist, I tried being Mormon, I tried being Unitarian.  But my successes are not the responsibility of another, nor are my failures caused by some malevolent imp.  They are what I chose before I came here, and they are the tests and exams I have chosen to have in my life.

I am a submissive switch.  This means that I have a HUGE streak in me that has a need to obey and to give my service to another, and by the same token I have another huge streak that has to take the service of another, and has to keep them disciplined to my liking.  As such I’m also a registered slave, 936-658-013 at the Slave Registry.  You will note that on that profile, I am owned by ONE person, who is authorized to give me commands, and that one person is not you.  I also love being tied and helpless, and if you are in a position to be able to take advantage of that, then I trust you implicitly.

I am also a “lesbian”.  As a MtF transsexual, this means I started out life straight, liking women and wanting to have sex with them, and as I transition, I don’t find myself attracted to men as a whole.  Specific men, sometimes.  As a species, no not on your best day.  I want girls and women and I will do a lot to them if they love me.

I flirt.  I flirt a lot.  I tease.  I mean absolutely nothing by it unless you want to continue it to another level.  It’s part of my persona, nothing more.  If it bothers you, tell me and I will stop it.

I am a geek.  I collected comics (mostly Marvel mutant mags), I game AD&D (and am involved in several games now), I work with and on computers (doing helpdesk with Dell computers), I paint miniatures (but I sold my entire collection at one point), I am a crafter and I do things with beads and jewelry and leather (notibly making my own restraints and floggers that are also for sale). 

I am a parent.  I understand where the parental units are coming from and why they feel the way they do.  I will tell you if you care to know.

I am honest.  Part of my spirituality is that I do not lie.  I will dance around the truth, I will avoid saying something, I will change the subject, but asked flat out, I will ALWAYS give an honest answer to whatever the question is, on the theory that honsty is always the best policy, and that an truth from a friend is better than a taunt and a barb from an enemy.

That’s me in a snapshot.  Anyone has a problem with that, you can unfollow and I won’t even be upset.  But if you are willing, I can be a very good friend.  I never had girlfriends or boyfriends as I grew up, so this is going to be a new experience to me as well.  In many ways, I’m going through a second puberty, and I want to share it and experience it with all you as well.

I do sometimes worry about what others think of me, but then the old cynical part goes “joke them if they can’t take a fuck”.  So your reaction is entirely up to you.